Shut up and March.

Onward.

2 Corinthians 4 16-18 MSG

Between the crying,  colossal poops, drippy diapers,  spit, vomit, and more crying...I spend an inordinate amount of time kissing my daughter's face.

That makes up for it all.

Father God. Jesus Christ. Holy Spirit.

Help me.

Please.

It's 3:06 am.  I finished feeding the baby about 30 minutes ago.  I laid her down to rest in her crib but she's been stirring ever since.  My husband is asleep and snoring.  I'm a bit restless.  Up and wondering how everything is going to work.  My mind is going a hundred miles a minute.  I guess this is where I stip and ask for the peace that passeth all understanding.  I could really use it right now.

In my prayer time,  God told me to go to 2 Corinthians 1.  Indeed the promises of God are yay and amen.  There's nothing to be worried about because he promised me much.  Go to sleep Yvonne.  You need the rest.

I just want to eat a jumbo cocktail shrimp really slowly...on a clear blue water white sandy beach....and wash it down with a glass of wine.  Yes.  A.glass.of.wine.

Don't want to get drunk.  Drunk implies hangover.  For real though, ain't nobody got time for that.  Just tipsy enough to enjoy the sun, the breeze, and slide down comfortably in my hammock and forget about everything.

That is all.

Goodnight world.

I woke up this morning with gratitude.  The Lord said to me, "Sing unto me a new song."

I know He is restoring the brokenness in my family.  I know He is healing the rift between my mother and I, one whose presence has pained me for years.

My own daughter is laying on my chest and I think to myself that I want her to know my embrace is open for the rest of our time together on this earth.  That even as a grown woman,  she will have some sanctuary here in my arms.  Because sometimes, we just need our mommies.  I want her to know it's ok.

God said that Ron and I are raising up a leader.  I don't know how He is going to use her exactly.  I will inquire more.  I want to know who I al raising and how to raise her.  She is strong.  I know that from four weeks of being in her presence 24/7.  Very strong.  Outsiders observe her and misname that trait as stubborn.  She is not stubborn.  She is resolute and determined.  This child will have no problem speaking the truth.  Now, I just pray that she have the grace and is motivated by the love of God....a love for His people.  Because of the giftings she has, she will be loved by many and ummmm not so loved by many.  I pray for her strength.

Folasade Grace Simms was born on 10/28/2014 at 5:58 pm.  She weighed 7 lbs and was 21 inches long.

She made me a mother.  She made me a mommy.

And now,  we are going into our third week of life together.

I don't sleep the same.  I listen for her at night to make sure she's ok.  She vomits, poops,  pees, and cries on me....and I love her just the same.  There's a grace that comes with being a mommy.  I can't explain it.  Perhaps it's natural.  It's definitely hard work but there is a grace.

She's beautiful.  She looks like me.  I love her.

The season has changed.