30 April 2015

When it takes 30 minutes to edit one picture in Photoshop...

1 down...only like 56 more to go...

Jesus.  Help.  Me.  Please.

19 April 2015

Every year I begin with great intentions of reading the entire Bible.  Every year, I fall off.  I've done several reading plans from chronological to topical and I always seems to fall short.

This year, I am using a plan found in the YouVersion app from Bible.com.  It provides 5-7 verses a day, Old Testament, New Testament, and either a reading from Psalms or Proverbs.  I've definitely fallen off the past couple of weeks and now I realize what my pattern is.

Whenever I get to the book of Job....I stop.

There is something about God's nature in this book that I'm having trouble accepting.  Maybe it's not that...maybe it's fear that I could be Job.  Any person could be Job.  He was one of THE most righteous people on earth and yet God allowed him to suffer...even had a conversation with Satan about Job.

like...whoa.

not to mention, I think even the writers of the accompanying devotional have trouble explaining what's happening.  With titles like "Some Things We Cannot Explain" and "Suffering is Inevitable"...there are parts of God's nature that we as humans will never be able to comprehend.  We can only trust that what He is doing is perfect and that as His children, He knows what we can bare.

This weekend I have been thinking a lot about Christ's suffering.  I mean The Passion.  Christ literally baring the weight of the world's sins on His back as people shunned, beat and bruised Him.  I visualized the cat o' nine tails tearing into His back as He refused to give into the taunts and jeers.  They didn't see Him for who He really was...but how could they.  In a way, the ones who killed Christ were kinda like Pharaoh.  If there was no Pharaoh oppressing the people, how could God have shown Himself strong for Israel through Moses.  Perhaps that is why Jesus could ask the Father to forgive them, for they had no idea how they were being used in God's plan.

We know in part...but we don't really Know like God KNOWS.

Pastor Thomas's son Micah committed suicide.

The intercessor.
The prophet.
The mighty woman of God.
The obedient servant.

...all that...but still your child God.  suffering knows no boundaries.  God what is this?  Only you know how much she cried out for her son.  Only you know the fasting and prayer done...only you know the sleepless nights...only you know the spiritual sacrifices...only you know her heart's cry....because she's a mother and no mother wants to see their child bound, or suffer, or hurt, or in pain, or...dead.  this ain't spiritual...this ain't deep.  this is life.  no mother wants to see their child in a coffin.

God what is this?  i am so perplexed.  i am so very perplexed.  this is the same experience i get when i read Job.

there must be a reward for this kind of suffering.  serving God.  loving the people of God.  interceding day in and day out.  fasting.  praying.  standing in the gap constantly.  there must be a reward for this faithfulness.  there must be compensation.  there must be.

You said that all things work together for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your purpose....

God, what is this?

i stand on the cusp of going deeper...getting closer...knowing what has been prophesied....the suffering that i must endure...but the great grace that is upon my life...and the glory...

God, i ask that you cover me, my husband and children, and all that is connected to us in the blood of Jesus Christ.  

08 April 2015

...this is why my husband is a boss.

"You're fired.  It's as simple as that."

haaaaaaaaa!

ok.  i'm not trying to burn bridges so early in the game....

since i'm not about that blame game life...Lord...help me please to better communicate with people.  There is always room to improve on MY end...help me to see what/how I can improve so I can do business better.

there is ALWAYS room to improve.

as my husband always says, "Well, what did we learn?"

lol.  yup.




06 April 2015