eyes wide open...or at least i'm trying.

it's 12:28....in the morning...and i don't feel particularly inspired to write anything...but i don't really feel like going to sleep.

i was knocked out after my omelette with bacon on the side....woke up with both of my eyes swollen shut....

errrr.....

woke up to an e-mail essentially rejecting my photography....doing my best not to take it personally...knowing that behind every success are several failed attempts...but at least there were attempts...take the good with the bad...and know that His promises are "yay" and "amen" unto me because i believe on Jesus.

*looks around*

didn't go forward with the DJ.  the Holy Spirit told me yesterday...wait for something better....initially, i wanted to shrug it off, but i was at more peace with waiting than rushing into the decision and paying the deposit....so we'll wait...i also realized that she must have told Bruce about the wedding...i specifically asked for her NOT to send me links to him or his best friend....then all of a sudden, he texts me in the middle of last week in that oh-so-facetious way that he does, and "congratulates" me out of nowhere...nigro (yes, with an "i"), really?  when was the last time we had a real conversation.  i haven't talked to you since January....so i put it altogether and realized that's what happened.  boo to that.  there's something better out there for us.

in the last week, i have officially ended a ten+ year friendship....facilitated the first Parent's Association meeting of the school year....tried on wedding dresses (btw...i think i definitely found the one!)...met a woman who knows how to apply for 501 (c) 3 status....

i know God is leading me and guiding me.  i've asked Him to place me around the right people.  at this time, i'm not sure where photography fits into His whole equation for me.  i pray that God would change my motivations.  actually, i'm not really sure how to be motivated.  it's a business....business are supposed to make money...not be money pits.  right now....there is no profit...i had a vision....is it still there?  i'm not really sure what i'm doing with this thing....God help me.  it's been prophesied that everything i put my hands to will prosper...

ehhh....

i can't think about that right now.

God...just continue to lead me.  in Jesus' name.

amen.