and these are the final days of fall...

it's not even winter yet...not until the 21st of december.  it is currently the 6th.

do i see the light at the end of the tunnel?  not really?  not yet, at least. but i'll keep walking forward because even though i don't see it, i know that it is there and it will manifest itself soon enough.  just gotta keep up this pace.

because there are nights when i just want to lay down and hold him.  lay down and be held...and be rocked to sleep...and nestle myself in warm, milky dreams that are concentrated in and contrived from the purest forms of sweet ecstasy.

and to say that i didn't feel this way would be a lie.  and i don't really like to do that.  so i'll acknowledge it for what it is....a fact.

and i am still a human....and i am still a woman...and i am still 25.  and i am still living my life in this body....

these are facts.  but then there's truth.

but i know that i (my flesh) must die so that the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ can dwell and live in me.

so to say i don't feel it would be a lie.  but i will not succumb.  for the devil comes only to seek, kill and destroy. 

so today...even right now...simply...

i choose life.

and things are different a year ago then they were under a year and ten days ago today...and i hope to say the same about next year...and the year after next.

stagnation is not my cup of tea.

thank you Jesus for forward movement.

Selah.