Whoa...

I just looked back over my FB statuses from 2011 when the heavy winds of change were blowing in my life...great changes that brought obvious and quick restoration and healing in my life...

I was on fire for God...I would tell people about my church...I was praying for students and their family members in the hallways of my school...I'd get to work at 6:30 and pray in my classroom...put oil on the doorknobs and desks...

Today, the winds of change are blowing...restoration is coming but this is a detailed more painful process.  Slower.  More refined.  My plan is taking a back seat and I am resigned to humility rather than stubbornness.  Because the process doesn't "feel good" like it did in 2011.  However,  I know that it is for my good.

I want to be hot again.  On fire again.  Even in th midst of God stripping away the layers and revealing who I really am and th purpose for which he created me.

I am ok with this God because as I look back, I realize you have prepared me for this time.  I may not "feel" prepared but I am.  I am not alone.  I am not forgotten or forsaken.  I am not abandons.  I am on your mind.  I am in your heart.  You have considered me and know the ins and outs of every detail of my life.

Thank you for restoration of heat, soul, and mind so that I can love life free of fear, the weight of failure, self-pity, condemnation, and such.

I may not like the way this process feeeeeeellllsss but I'll endure this momentary affliction knowing that the glory which shall be revealed is going to be the bomb.