as i lugged my fifty bags (ok, maybe not that many, but i am a bag lady for sure) out of my car, i kept saying to myself...

"i miss my boo boo...i miss my boo boo...i miss my boo boo...."...i guess i was doing it without thought until i realized what i was saying and that i probably should be more alert to my surrounds...

but no, really...i miss my man.

*sigh*

friday at sundown.

and the sun goes down early.

until then, it's me and you God. me and you.

i'll be on my way back from the senior class trip to NYC. hopefully, while i'm there, i can scope out some fun things to do for us. i purchased tickets to a play, and i already have a good restaurant in mind....Lord knows i'm not about that walking around in the cold life, but if he wants it, then he gets it....i have never been so selfless. if he wants it, he can have it. i love him sooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking much. i can't contain my joy when i'm with him. i can't wipe the smile off of my face when i'm near him or even when i think about him. i just want to officially be his, and him mine. i love him, i love him, i love him and i can only believe that God made him just for me. i love him God. thank you so much for him. when i think about the love i have for him, sometimes it makes me want to cry because i didn't think i was capable of such emotion. and the awesome thing is that there's room for more.

in other news...

tonight was the final night of Spirit and Truth's month-long 20th anniversary celebration. at first, i praise and worship was a little shaky, but i remembered pastor sheila's fierce prayer beforehand and she kept invoking prayers that matched the lyrics of our songs....

the first song was a little shaky....don't sing loud AND be wrong...u throw everyone off! lol. but after about five minutes, we got into it. i gave it all that i had...to the point that my stomach hurt (in a good way of course) after it was all said and done. i even led two praise songs, one of which ron usually does. pastor steph joined us and led the worship portion....and it really just flowed....

God is good.

The Honorable Former Mayor Wilson Goode, Sr. was our guest preacher...i wasn't so much moved by the delivery (very baptist-esque lol) BUT he went to Isaiah 40...talked about waiting on the Lord and renewing our strength in Him. God whispered that to me a few days ago...and i keep hearing it.

after service, pastor thomas asked me "where's Ron?"....and i smiled. i mean...super cheese...like all of my teeth showing smile. i tried to wipe it off...she said "that's ok"...then she said, "you know, you smile a lot now"....

i'm thankful that i'm not the same person i was a year ago when i first began attending the church. i used to be mean. crotchety. unkind. nasty. rude. standoffish.

bishop pulled me to the side and said to me once, "you're mean."
i said, "i know".
he replied, "people are naturally attracted to you. but once they get up close, they're repelled by you."

and so, i meditated upon what he said and made a concerted effort to ask God for joy. and joy, He has truly given me. i'm so thankful.

now i'm home.

God, thank you for today. thank you for your salvation and your grace and mercy. thank you for your love and your forgiveness. thank you for considering me and being mindful of me, even when i forget about you. thank you for your faithfulness.

you're a mighty God and i love you.